Friday, September 05, 2008

Victor Said...

My dear friend and brother (in spirit) has a weekly column that either makes me smile or say hmmm. In any case they are always entertaining and I thought I'd share with you! Enjoy

September 5, 2008
I have a serious issue. My friends think my soul mate is gay. I think they’re crazy and jealous because I got him and they don’t. He’s strong and fine and there’s nothing soft about him. What am I to believe? Just because he dances in a bi-strip club doesn’t mean he gets down like that. He makes damn good money and that’s why he does it. When I asked him who this guy was that called my cell talking about catching his ex-boyfriend with mine after work, my honey denied it. He said someone was trying to come between us. Sometimes I feel like I’m all by myself because my girls have turned on me. I don’t want to be stupid but I don’t want to give up on a good thing either.
I got troubles in my head… and maybe a stranger in my bed.
In love with a stripper

Victor Said
In love with a stripper,
The troubles in your head makes mine hurt and I can’t even lie about it. You got g-string blues and I’m sorry for you. Look here, and this is just me talking but I think your girls might be on to something. Whoever that dude was that called your cell, had to have gotten the number from your man’s phone or from his ex’s. Not that it means anything but it could mean everything. Any time a spurned lover contacts you to drop dime, it’s worth considering their two cents. Most people don’t go out of their way getting into your business unless it has a great deal to do with their own. Maybe he just wants his man back and can’t do it without bringing drama to your door. Maybe it’s a simple misunderstanding. Maybe the caller is wrong about catching your soul mate slobbing down his… or worse. Maybe you are stupid. After all, stupid is as stupid does. But I digress.

No man, no straight man, would be caught dead or damn near naked in a bi or gay strip club; neither as an entertainer nor an innocent bi-stander. Pun intended. I mean come on now, a dude who gets all oiled up to swing from a pole so that other dudes can howl, huff, and stuff money in his tiny thong. Dang it! I just got a mental picture and now I’m nauseas. (Note to self, never-ever-ever go there again)
Suggestion: If you still have the secret caller’s number in your phone (and I bet you do), set a meet and greet. I am certain you will get the dirty details in Technicolor. It might be more than you ever wanted to know about a certain soul mate on the down low.
Victorism: If there’s a fool in the room and you’re home alone… raise your hand.

If you want to understand the complicated black man (like there is any other kind) or advice to help you get what you want from yours, ask Victor by sending an email message to Submissions will be posted on the web site.

Please note: Victor McGlothin is not a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, or marriage counselor and his responses are meant for entertainment purposes only.

All submissions should be limited to fifty words and have a short title i.e. "Confused in Chicago," "Freaky from Fountainhead," "Tired of the lies," "He might be crazy but I ain't," etc.

Responses to Victor said... may be edited and shortened for the sake of space. Don't forget to check in every Friday to see whatVictor said.. on

1 comment:

Missy said...

This is the first time I'm reading these Victorism' and I absolutely loved this one - it allowed me to get my giggle on!

But really what is going on with people what are they eating and where is all this stupidity coming from??

P.S remember that old jam:
Is it all ova my face? I'm in love dancing........hee-hee

Lata yall!!!