Friday, September 12, 2008

Victor Says

Hey Folks,

Well my brotha Victor is back this week with words to the wise or unwise! Read and enjoy.

Sept. 12, 2008


First let me state that I know I’m wrong but I can’t help it. My best friend is the kindest man I’ve ever met. He’s funny, respectful, handsome and he’s about to propose to my cousin. The problem is I want him for myself. On one hand, I was happy when he showed me the engagement ring. On the other, I was sick to my stomach. My biggest regret is blowing him off when he chased me years ago in college. I was in love with someone else then and now he is. It’s getting so hard for me to hide what I feel for him. I can’t sleep at night thinking about him and my cousin’s future. I get upset when they show up together at family events hand in hand. And, I don’t even want to imagine how good he makes her feel in bed. Like I said, I know I’m wrong for wanting him to love and care for me like he does her. Yet and still, I can't help it.


Can’t let go

Victor Said…

Can’t let go,

You need to… no seriously before somebody gets hurt. Other than being so right about being wrong, you got it bad for your cousin’s man and that ain’t good. Often times the people we love come into possessions we’d like to have for ourselves not limited to shoes, cars, homes or someone who loves them so good it makes us ache with envy. (That’s just what I heard) However, you have to be honest with yourself. Is the desire for this man driven by your disappointment of previous love lost? Are you jealous of your cousin’s successful relationship because you find yourself alone? Or, is your proclaimed best friend the man you’ve watched mature into someone perfectly suited for your needs? Actually, it really doesn’t matter. You had your chance, the timing was all wrong, if you know now what you knew then, etc. are adequate cliché’s that fit the situation. My suggestion: Pray for God to ease your pain, smile when you see your BFF and kinfolk happy together and lend a voice of reason when they falter. If you can’t sing—hum something nice at the wedding and find a way to let go of the man and the love that wasn’t meant for you.

Victorism: Very few of the things we lose, really ever belonged to us.


If you want to understand the complicated black man (like there is any other kind) or advice to help you get what you want from yours, ask Victor by sending an email message to Submissions will be posted on the web site.

Please note: Victor McGlothin is not a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, or marriage counselor and his responses are meant for entertainment purposes only.

All submissions should be limited to fifty words and have a short title i.e. "Confused in Chicago," "Freaky from Fountainhead," "Tired of the lies," "He might be crazy but I ain't," etc.

Responses to Victor said... may be edited and shortened for the sake of space. Don't forget to check in every Friday to see whatVictor said.. on

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